Genesis, In the Beginning - III
Genesis 2:24-25
September 9, 2007
John Ryan

Stronger than any mountain cathedral, truer than any tree ever grew,
Deeper than any forest primeval, I am in love with you.

Through the years as the fire starts mellow,
Burning lines in the book of our lives,
Though the binding cracks and the pages start to yellow,
I’ll be in love with you. I’ll be in love with you.

Longer – Dan Fogelberg

Genesis 2:24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother ...
Truth #1 - Husband and wife must leave father and mother, but God calls the man to take the lead.

What does it mean for the man to lead?
* We are not dictators in word or deed. We are covering - which means we go first and take the responsibility for the actions and consequences of the family.
* Why the man first? It is about covering first and foremost. One has always been set aside to be the covering in every covenant relationship. Practically, this involves who will be the responsibility of the family for keeping the covenant. It also speaks to who is charged with going first in practical things like leaving, restoring communication, apologies, spiritual pursuits, etc.

What does it mean to leave?
* The mandate from God is to leave. Why? A new community in covenant is being formed. This is what two becoming one is all about. This is the essence of a covenant. This cannot happen if there is an existing covenant and parties in play.
* Who will make decisions and how the decisions will be made will always be in question if there are three or four involved in this covenant relationship.

Here are some principals from this truth.
1) First, if you cannot afford to live on your own physically or somehow you don't have the time to make it happen before the wedding, you probably should not get married yet.
2) Second, if you are dependent on your parents physically, financially, or emotionally in order to live month to month, you probably should not get married. If you can not afford to live without their support - you haven't left. If they bring you groceries every week or physically are helping you exist monthly - you haven't left. If they are your wise counsel in the majority of the decisions you are making - you haven't left.
3) Third, if you run home physically or emotionally after a majority of your fights - you haven't left home.

How do we honor our parents and still use them as wise counsel and leave?
That is a delicate balance.
1) You cannot put yourself in a place of dependence.
2) You cannot put your spouse in a place of choosing their desire over your or their parents.
3) You must communicate love and respect to your parents before you leave, as you leave, and after you have left. Inform them of the changes ahead and ask for grace as you both adjust.

What to do if you are married and you still haven't left?
1) You and your spouse must get on the same page. (prayer, lots of grace-filled talks, prayer, patience)
2) Once you are there, you have to clearly and consistently speak a message love and leaving. (How? Prayer, grace filled talk and the reasons why [put focus on you on and not their faults or meddling], be consistent, keep speaking respect and love but be clear about the boundaries - wisdom vs. commands)

Genesis 2:24 ... and hold fast to his wife, ...
Truth #2 - Husband and wife must hold fast to one another, but God calls the man to take the lead.

What does it mean to hold fast?
It means to purposefully seek and commit to unity physically, emotionally, financially, etc. Literally, this word means "to stick to". In a human sense we "stick" because of commitment and because we purposefully work at it. Here are some principals of "sticking".
1) We cannot stick to our spouse if we are "stuck" to our parents.
2) Sticking requires death to self and commitment to a new entity called oneness. This does not mean we lose our unique identity or personality or God given dreams or calling. However, we do not stick by going half way in the relationship. When both begin die to self and our selfish ways and desires - God does the miracle of oneness.

Creation, New Creation, "leave" and "hold fast"
Adam and Eve could do these things as pure holy creations of God. That is - they were unscathed by the consequences of sin. We are also called to "leave" and "hold fast" - but we can only do these things as new creations in the power of the Holy Spirit. We must submit to God if we are to submit to dying to self. Our submission issues begin with God first.

Genesis 2:24 ... they shall become one flesh.
Truth #3 - Oneness, is God's miraculous work when we submit to leaving and holding fast.

What does "oneness" look like?
Oneness is when two begin to no longer exist and one heart and mind begin to emerge. If you do not desire this - don't get married!

1) You cannot make this happen. This is God's miracle. However, His promise is - as you submit to leaving and holding fast - I will do the miracle of oneness.
2) This does not happen in a day or a weekend. This takes time - years, and it is part of the joy and frustration of marriage.

This mandate was given to all who submit themselves to God and Jesus as Lord. This is not an old Jewish law that was a social issue instituted in an outdated society. This was the way of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. It has been the way of God from the beginning and it is His way now. (Matthew 19:4-6)

Genesis 2:25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

Truth #4 - In Christ, we can be completely known and not live in the fear of acceptance.

1) In Christ, we can be completely transparent and vulnerable before each other. To be "naked" - means to be completely known. This involves complete transparency and complete vulnerability.

2) In Christ, we can live outside the fear of acceptance from others or ourselves. When we live with the knowledge that we are completely accepted in Christ by God we can live without the fear of acceptance and its offspring shame. We long for another to completely accept us and we long to accept ourselves. However, we only find this acceptance in Christ. In Christ, we can risk being completely known because we know we are fully and wholly accepted in Christ by God.

Here are some principals to understand:
1) You must first be in Christ for this to be true.
2) This is learning the truth of what Christ did and who you are in Christ.
3) This takes time for this to go from head knowledge to living daily knowledge.
4) When both of you begin to embrace your acceptance before Christ, you will begin to unconditionally love each other.

Don’t talk of love, But I’ve heard the words before;
It’s sleeping in my memory, I won’t disturb the slumber
of feelings that have died. If I never loved I never would have cried.
I am a rock, I am an island
And a rock feels no pain – and an island never cries.

I Am a Rock – Paul Simon

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